HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
