I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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