I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
