why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
