I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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