why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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