I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
