dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
