She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
