So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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