I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
