I feel like I'm in dance class right now
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
