I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
