woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
