i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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