Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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