so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize