Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
3 2 1 whiskey
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
