It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
