I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
