Hey man sorry I got all grabby
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
