I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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