Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
