In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
