Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Even my vagina gasped.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
