I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
