all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
