I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
