He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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