Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
