Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
