wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
