Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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