Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
