a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
