I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
God I need to hump something, right now.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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