just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
