Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
