She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
