apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
