I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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