her vagine was all disorganized.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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