You're so nebulous sometimes
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
