He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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