So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
