when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize