You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
