she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
