there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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