Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
