I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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