why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
