Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
