Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
