i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
