its not stalking. its research.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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