I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
