Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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