Your mouth is God's brothel.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
