I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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