Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She announced her abortion via fbk
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
