I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
