ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
