he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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