Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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