it hurts more in the daytime
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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