Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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