Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
